CHINESE WORKERS UNEARTH ANCIENT AFRICAN TREASURE

April-1-(WordPress-Wll16-te A team of Chinese construction workers made a potentially historic discovery on Saturday, March 30th while working on a highway project in Nairobi, Kenya. The team, comprising a Chinese truck driver and two loaders working for Xing-Hoa Construction & Fabricators, found what appeared to be the remains of an ancient library in the vicinity of the city’s Globe Cinema roundabout. They promptly alerted local authorities who were quick to put together a team of experts to investigate the matter.

On arrival at the scene at around noon, the team confirmed that indeed there might have been an ancient library close to the scene of the discovery. Efforts to get archaeological excavators to the scene were hampered by a cheery afternoon downpour but were resumed on Sunday morning where more artifacts were recovered, shedding further light on the intriguing finding.

A member of the archaeological team told this writer that the library seemed to have been a center for the exchange of literature and ideas, as well as of discussion and debate, rivaling those of ancient Athens, Alexandria and Timbuktu. One unique feature of the library not found in any other, she added, was that it appears to have been a rather robustious social hang-out, with evidence of loud music performed by what a she jokingly referred to as “proto-DJs”, and consumption of wine and other celebratory intoxicants. The Kenyan archaeologist says the deduction was made from the remains of a variety of antique vessels such as goblets, early bottles and even shot glasses. She concludes that, “We’re still at the very early stages of our research, but this must be the world’s loudest library!”

-African Correspondent

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The WLL Manifesto

What’s a manifesto, really, anyway? WordPress compression making the image hard to read? Here’s the text: THE WLL MANIFESTO WLL stands for World’s Loudest Library. 1.WLL is a community of people who like books, music and adventure. It is a primordial pond where different things meet and mix, for whatever. 2.WLL is a party. With … Continue reading

A Genesis Story – Ambala

It was a hot and sunny day. The leaves crackled and folded in complaint, and the earth boiled in anger. Grrrr, grrrooo, grrrr, grroooo. Crackle, crackles, crisps, crisps. Hotter than a February afternoon at Industrial area, or at Jua Kali. Hotter than the feeling by onions as they dance rhythmically to the sweet tunes of hot cooking oil, and as they burn their feet on the close-molten dance floor. Burn,  burn. Heat, fire..The sun was cooking a beef recipe, baking skins. On this day, the ozone layer had absconded duty. It was hot.

Evelyn sat restlessly on a cassock seat. Her fingers aching with activity..one minute they were flapping paper across her face, and the next they were wiping drops of ammonia off her black aquiline nose. Adamba, her husband was busy as bee and hive too, helping Noah. Noah, the ever-present guide and voice of wisdom -Noah was the closest to sibling Adamba could ever have. Fold, organize, instruct, oversee; he was doing it all. The event had to be a success; it was the launch of Noah’s restaurant.

The launch had been the talk of town. Many had wished to attend, but few were invited. Only the crème de la crème of society. As a premiere touch, Noah’s had an offer; buy one get one free. So everything came in twos..two chicken, two chips, two pattes, two glasses of water, two buns, two. Two grains of salt, and two of pepper. Noah double-double; no other could beat that.

And so came the beautiful part. The part where the tongue appreciated God’s creations. When the different tongue parts separated bitter, sweet, sour, salty and such phenomena. The hour of reckoning between good and grim table finesse. The seated, after a 3-hour wait, were more than delighted by the idea of food. They tossed, tagged, swept, kicked and picked, licked and gulped; all in the blink of an eye. And when a loud garlic-scented burp escaped Evelyn’s jaws, she could do nothing but bow her head in shame. Sumptuous were the meals, and elated was the crowd. And at the end of it all, piles of bones and left-over vegetable were guiltily piled at a corner of Noah’s previously pruned and propered green lawn. At the sight of his new damaged-beyond-repair-of-the-once-beautiful lawn, Noah was saddened. Tireless nights and scrupulous amounts of money had been spent on this yard. Things had been okay, but now they were starting to go wrong. He frowned, and two folds showed on his forehead.

Tout a coup (suddenly), there was a garbage breakdown. Monsieur Garbage just couldn’t handle the heat. He danced to Mc Hammer’s tunes. He wore a satin pair of bell-bottomed pants and did a jig…break-break, dance-dance.. Miss Fungi was panting and sweating as Bacteria pushed her around on the dance floor. A little sway of hips here, a rhythmic move of shoulders there..but Bacteria wouldn’t let her be. So when she finally recoiled back to her seat, Bacteria knew he had won. Like a an auctioneer chasing a rent defaulter, the bacteria and heat had cooked the fungi into a healthy plate of manure. Fresh and fertile.  And at this sight, Noah got overwhelmed with emotion. They vacillated(the emotions); his eyes suggested that they should cry. But his fists suggested they should fire up someone’s chin. Then they finally came to a decision..and Noah took some water to aid them. Two glasses to be precise, just enough for him to weep two fountains, and rivers too.

And as Noah wept, Adamba reached out to give him tissues..when he realized there were none. How could they have run out so fast?? So into his car Adamba hopped, just to discover that he had a flat tire. Luckily, his lovely wife was busy licking a large doughnut, ready to lip it and lavishly gulp it down.. “Please, I need it..I’ll get you another”. Those were the words of one Adamba to his love, as he quickly rimmed the oily doughnut and whisked away. The crowd remained baffled and began to depart, this was too bizarre an event.

As Noah continued to weep, the earth began to grind and gruggle. Grr, grr. Like Grogon. Grr, grr. It was singing freedom songs, inspired by Mandela. A revolution was about. It had to break free; free from the arms of the earth, free from the warm embrace of the soil. Up and running, taller and taller. Taller than Hansel and Gretel’s adventures, taller than Jack’s beanstalk. And there behold, was a tree. The most beautiful one ever seen, perched with the rosiest of flowers right at its fore.

These were the most bizarre shenanigans that Evelyn had ever set eyes on. At least the much that her eidetic memory could recall. And yet, they were only a week old at Edenville Estate. With mouth agape, she wondered what more atrocities the future held for them. The devil and his menacing antics were truly alive. Right at the moment, a Mercedes ML350  pulled up right at the yard’s front. Out came a stunning work of art; perfect was his everything; face, body, poise. Oozing Paco Rabanne’s One Million man. Charm. Evelyn suddenly lost her sense of who and where she was. All she could hear was the work of art introduce himself, “Sabi is my name, full name Sabend”..in a crisp Kalenjin accent.

Story Ya Genesis – Mwangi Ichung’wa

In the beginning there was nothing. Nothing at all. The Oner existed entirely in his own idea of self, a cocoon of nebulous yet conscious realization – the thought of a thought, if you will, and it was in this state that he was quite contented. But within the bliss there was always the question of what else could there was. Was there a limit? What would it take to reach it? What would result from the quest, if he did indeed embark upon it? These questions stirred a sense of longing in the ambiguity and the Oner found himself restless.

From the essence of the enigma that was the Oner, sinuous wisps of base forms begin to emerge as the longing for more overcame the subtlety of his existence. From these thoughts, matter manifested in the darkness, bereft of the benefit of form and gently, slowly, a nexus beginning to emerge from the nothing. And, for the literally the first time, there was substance. The Oner marvelled at this development and thought some more. Around his new core, a cloud formed, curled up like a foetus in the nonexistent womb. Sparks of static flickered around the edges of the cloud as questions were issued into the void.

Time, having recently come into existence, passed. The formless cloud had expanded, filled with pondering and wonderment. There was a need to see what was amalgamated so far and so there was the thought of luminance. The static sparks grew larger and the cloud was illuminated. With light came form and with form came understanding. The Oner was a pip, the cloud was the flesh. He realised that it was from him and only him that anything could begin. He was the progenitor of it all. In the new brilliance, he marvelled upon the constitution of his mental endeavour and a warm appreciation issued forth from the core of his being. The light around him grew brighter and more of the void that existed around him was elucidated.

Time passed, again, only being of relevance to the Oner. His light was now a spark in the dark expanse within which his questioning being existed. He was always musing now, amassing more form and tangibility as he did. He was content for he knew that if there was indeed anything else out there, it would not have to try too hard to find him. He was a beacon now, a star in what was once the Great Destitution. All a curious entity had to do was seek, and they would surely find.

 

Untitled – Reumac a.k.a James Ochweri

I liked to watch her as she pranced about naked in my apartment. Call it what you want, but there was a certain hitherto unseen grace that the lack of clothing gave her body. Her curves, more fluid; her luscious black skin glowing visibly. I loved her regardless, garments on or garments off. However, I more easily got lost running my fingers over her silky smooth skin as she lay by my side in her natural glory than if I was doing anything else in the world.

You see, she was literally the only one for me. When we first met, I didn’t know it. I practically hated her because I felt that she had crossed into my turf and taken over. Lemme break it down to you. The first time I met Jill, I was a humble photographer apprenticing by the masters’ side. My father had convinced his friend, one of the country’s most prolific photographers, to take me under his wing and show me the ropes. Let’s just say it was his last ditch effort to help me towards a meaningful career. But I digress.  I had been working for the master for barely 3 months when one morning, in walked this tall beauty with a Minolta film camera slung over one shoulder and a makeshift photography portfolio in her hand. The master was immediately enthralled by her and with a quick glance through the portfolio; he declared that we had a new apprentice in the studio. I think you can guess who was assigned to show her the ropes and get her up to speed.

Let’s just say the dislike I had for her was akin to the dislike a formerly only child harbors for his newly born sibling. My massive fake sense of self importance as the master’s first apprentice in years had led me to believe that I was THAT guy. Jill came and promptly deflated my ego. My first reaction to that was to seethe with loathing for her. But as the days passed and we got to know each other, that loathing turned into loving. She was the kindest, gentlest and most intelligent woman I knew. She had an eagerness to learn photography and a diligence in practicing what she’d learnt that translated into her quickly becoming even better than I was as a photographer. By the time this was happening, I was too busy allowing myself to be more and more confused by her to hold any feelings of jealousy or dislike towards her. You can guess what effect this confusion was having on my photography. The master noted that I was slacking off and suggested that we each choose a niche and concentrate on becoming the best photographers in that niche.

That was the beginning of the illustrious career of Jill, the region’s best portrait photographer. She had a way of capturing portraits that looked like she’d captured the very soul of the subject. Her images were always so full of life and emotion. I chose a different route, going into landscapes and wildlife photography. And together we grew till we were both masters in our own repute. Our varying schedules meant that the times when we would both be free were few and far between, so we cherished and savored every moment we spent together. Our love blossomed and flourished with the passing of time and as we approached our 5 year anniversary, there was no doubt in my mind what I had to do on the day of our anniversary. I wanted her by my side forever. I would propose to her on that special day.

A couple of weeks before the day of the anniversary, I put my plan into action. I made all the necessary bookings, including booking her for dinner on the anniversary eve. As the day got closer and closer, I noted that she became more and more curious about what I had planned for the 5 year anniversary. I must say that I had always organized really special celebrations for all our anniversaries as part of my gift to her. We’d been bungee jumping, we’d gone swimming with the dolphins and for the 4th anniversary, we flew to a secluded beach cottage and spent a weekend there. So naturally, she was intensely curious to find out what I had in mind to trump all that. Thankfully, I knew how to keep a secret and only revealed the location of our special date as we drove up to KICC on our anniversary eve. The look on her face as we parked was priceless. You see, the KICC rooftop was one of our usual hangout joints. We’d go sit by the helipad when we had time in the evenings and take photos of the city at sunset and after. That was our version of couple time. She was visibly crestfallen at having dressed up to go chill at the usual spot. As we rode the express elevator up to the top, she slipped her arm around mine and sighed loudly, maybe to signify acceptance. The second priceless look on her face that night happened when the doors of the elevator opened at the top. No words can fully describe the instant shift from a look of dejection to utter joy and surprise as the doors opened to reveal a smartly dressed concierge welcoming us warmly into the revolving restaurant that was just under the rooftop. We always had to take the stairs from that point and she had mentioned several times that she’d love to sit and have dinner there some day. So I booked out the whole restaurant for the night.

As we took our seats and the rotation of the restaurant floor slowly started, she was beside herself with glee. From the elevator all the way into the restaurant, she couldn’t stop saying thank you. I beamed as I saw the amazement and adoration in her eyes. A hired band played ballads softly in the background as we ate our meal, eyes locked intermittently on each other and the wonderful backdrop of the city lights coming on as night fell. We both hardly noticed time passing, happy to be in each other’s company at such a special moment. The waiter clearing his throat softly as he walked over with the covered dessert platter in hand reminded me of my main mission for the night. I quickly composed myself and as he came up to the table, I got up and got on one knee in front of Jill.

“Oh My God! Is this actually happening?” she screamed happily as the waiter took his position by my side.

 I began. “Jill, I’m but a humble photographer. Definitely not the man you had dreamed would sweep you off your feet but I somehow succeeded in doing that. I would like you to take pictures of our children in the future, so will you marry me?”

The waiter lifted the covering on the dessert platter to reveal a diamond engagement ring in an open silk lined box. Jill screamed in delight “Yes! Yes! Yes!”. I took out the ring and slipped it on her finger. The band broke out into a happy tune as the restaurant staff who’d gathered by the door to watch the proposal  started clapping and cheering. I rose up off my knee and Jill immediately sprang up and gave me a big hug and a long, lingering romantic kiss.

                Then beneath our feet, out of nowhere, BOOM!!